I'm going to jail i love you
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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