Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
