if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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