Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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