My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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