My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
