She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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