remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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