The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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