watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
