Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
