My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize