enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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