I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How does one acquire holy water?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
