So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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