at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
