So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
