the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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