oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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