she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
