are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
