i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
