If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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