You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
