imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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