Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize