Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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