I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
