grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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