she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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