And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
