So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
