Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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