it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
