I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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