Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
