Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
