i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
