no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I can't turn off my feet"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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