He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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