Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
