I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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