How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
