I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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