I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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