Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
