i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
