I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
