So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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