I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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