Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
