you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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