So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
