That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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