why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
