ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
