Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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