I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
