Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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