I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
pop tarts are not kleenex
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
