Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
