Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
