party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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