worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
