if you like me you must not know who I am
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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